Flash

I realized while scrolling through recent posts that I haven't been sharing Flash's monthly pictures. Have you felt deprived? My deepest apologies.

I told Josh after attending a baby shower recently that I now know why moms of multiple kids give unsolicited advice to new mothers. Because it's dang hard to keep your mouth shut! With three kids under four I feel like I have a very specific and refined skill set and I just want to share the wealth. I kept my mouth shut though. Not that this particular new mom needed my advice I just had an itch to give it. New moms need to feel like they know what they're doing I think. I know I did. Too much lecturing or "advice" and they loose their mojo. Parenting takes some guts. You don't want to take their confidence down right out of the gate.

By the third kid you really do develop a more relaxed approach to parenting. I remember when Squeaks was a baby (feels like it was yesterday) and I took these monthly chalkboard pictures with her. I'd spend a good hour picking out a cute outfit, making her chalkboard perfect, and taking at least 50 pictures before choosing my favorite. By the third kid, you check for drool and just go with it. I still really wanted him to have his monthly pictures like Squeaks and Little Dude, but his are definitely more relaxed than theirs were. Yet I'm still totally in love with each months picture.

Really everything about Flash is more relaxed. He's such a quiet peaceful little guy. You could set him down and forget he's there if you get too busy. Of course he's too cute to forget though. He's just as content as could be to lay on his play mat or DockATot (mine was made by my mom and I LOVE it). He's also a big laugher though. He smiles very easily and Squeaks can get him laughing better than anyone. I got this video the other day of him playing in his exersaucer and Squeaks, for some reason, started saying "chicken" to him (kids are strange sometimes). Anyway, he thought it was hilarious. Enjoy!


I'm excited to see this little man grow. Excited to see his relationship with his siblings grow. They crack me up and I'm beyond proud to be their mom.

This Is How It Works Today

If I've learned one thing since we became a three-under-four family it's that you've gotta be flexible. I think you learn that on a small scale with your first child, a little more with your second, but with a third you just have to pray that God helps you keep them all alive and just relax.

Three kids under the age of four is a beast all it's own. There's having multiple children, and then there's having multiple children really close in age. Triplets...forget it. Just douse yourself in dry shampoo and coffee, and we'll see you in 5-10 years. Squeaks and Little Dude are 20 months apart. Little Dude and Flash are 21 months apart. And four years ago I thought I was barren. Ha!

This is a life I dreamed about, prayed for, wanted so badly that I cried myself to sleep on more than one occasion. I'm going to be honest with you (which is a phrase I rarely use because it makes me think "well, aren't you honest all the time!?") it is everything I hoped for and a million times harder than I could have ever known. Any soon to be moms out there looking for articles to read about what its like to have kids close in age or more than one or two kids, just stop looking. I could give you a description of my day, try to compare one vs. two vs. three but the truth is it's different everyday.

Because of California's wonderful FMLA (family medical leave act) Josh was able to be home with us for seven awesome weeks after Flash's birth. After that I had to figure out how to function with three kids on my own during the day and keep in mind I'm at a slight loss for digits with which to grasp tiny, crazy fast little people (Little Dude is a major runner. I no longer judge parents who use kid-leashes.) On our first outing with just me and the kids, we went to the library for story time. As anticipated Little Dude and Squeaks went in two opposite directions for most of the trip, and at one point I had to pry a screaming LD off the library computer keyboard, all while wearing my six-week old, but we did it! Every day I am thankful that God granted me a mellow third child, because if Flash was a high-maintenance kid...I don't even know. It takes me a solid twenty minutes to get everyone in their car seats and all the necessary kid paraphernalia packed in the car to go somewhere. That doesn't include the time it takes to get them all dressed, and presentable to be seen in public. Add another hour for that. The logistics of getting three small children out of the car by myself, in a busy parking lot, is a little mind-boggling sometimes. 

From our first outing to the library. Just me and the kids.

  

I use to imagine how I'd parent. There would be lots of cuddles. My kids would have manners. I would be a patient and understanding mother. My kids would be good listeners, never scream in public. I would never give my kid my phone to distract them. And of course, my house would be clean because I'd be a stay-at-home mom, just clean while they play!

Isn't she lovely!

Well, there are lots of cuddles, even if the small one being cuddled refuses. "You're being cuddled darn it! Give in! LOVE ME!" But really, all three are world class cuddlers. The rest of that list is hit or miss. Except for the clean house, that's just laughable. There are days where nothing seems to go as planned, so I am slowly but surely being broken of my need to plan. The phrase that has helped me more than any other, the one that plays through my head multiple times a day is "This is how it works today." When I need to let one kid watch Minions for the millionth time so I can get another kid to sleep or wear Flash in my Tula for his afternoon "nap". When my lunch consists of whatever was left on my kids plates after their lunch. When Flash has to stay in his swing a little longer than I'd like because Little Dude decorated an armchair with a bottle of lotion. When I let my older two dig holes all over the backyard and spread the sand from their sand table across the patio because it's giving me time to do the dishes and hey, they're happy. On those days I say "This is how it works today." and my blood pressure goes down. God has blessed me beyond measure. He has given me the exact kids I was meant to have and I am the mom He wanted them to have. Every day these three small people surprise me, make me laugh, and challenge my heart to contain the explosive force of my love for them. Every day looks different from the last. Every day could end with a long list of things I wish I could have done differently. But I am living the life I prayed for and I wouldn't change a thing... Well, I'd like to sleep more. Other than that, not a thing.

My car is slowly being swallowed by kid "stuff".

Painting rocks (and himself) on the back patio.

Flash's Birth Story

I understand a lot of my readers are from the adoption community and a birth story may not be high on your list of things you'd like to read, but I don't like the idea of separating our family story into two worlds, adoption and biological. So, although Little Dude's full birth story is on my pregnancy blog, I decided to write Flash's here. My children are all mine, no need to step lightly.

Flash was born on his due date which I think is pretty cool since it's not statistically common. I woke up that morning not expecting anything as I had only been having mild and sporadic contractions for maybe a week. I had declined my doctor's offers to check if/how much I was dilated. I remembered it being painful, and since my doctor wasn't concerned about anything, she was fine with me saying no. I had been having NSTs (non-stress tests) done twice a week as a precaution. I was scheduled for an NST that morning but since it was my due date I had to go to L&D to have it done instead of maternal-fetal medicine where NSTs are normally done. Around 10:30am the nurse hooked me up to a monitor and there I sat listening to Flash's heartbeat and movement for about half an hour. When the nurse came back she was accompanied by a doctor. A fairly pushy doctor. She did everything she could to talk me into being induced. She said "There is no medical reason for you to stay pregnant". Me- "But is there a medical reason for me to be induced?" Her- "No..." After a few more minutes back and forth I finally agreed to let her check me and do a membrane sweep. I had read that unless your body is already set to go into labor a membrane sweep is ineffective. I had one done when I was pregnant with Little Dude and nothing happened. She checked me and I was five centimeters dilated and she did the sweep. It was about noon now so Josh stopped by (he works for the hospital) and sat with me for awhile but since I wasn't in active labor (and frankly still not expecting to be) he went back to the office. They had me stay on the NST monitor for awhile longer to see if I made any progress. My contractions definitely got stronger and a little more regular but after another hour I was still at five but almost six centimeters. The doctor tried again to talk me in to induction but I was determined to experience going into labor naturally. After the doctor left the room, a very sweet nurse commended me on sticking to my guns but informed me that since this would be my third time giving birth it could go a lot quicker than I was expecting. She encouraged me to stay to be monitored at the very least. I finally agreed to take a long walk and come back to be checked again. By this time it was mid afternoon and I hadn't eaten anything so I went down to the cafeteria. Throughout this whole process I was calling Josh, my mom, my mother-in-law (who was babysitting Squeaks and Little Dude), and my friend Kristi (who is a labor and delivery nurse) to update them and get their opinions. They all encouraged me to stick to my guns and do what I was comfortable with. After walking for another hour I realized my contractions were getting much more regular. The nurse hooked me back up to the monitor and sure thing, I was in labor. I called Josh and told him to go home and get our bag because we were having a baby today! He got to the hospital about 5:00pm and my mom got there about an hour later. I managed my contractions easily for quite awhile and the three of us sat and talked happily. I felt like it was still going to be a long wait till real active labor. This couldn't possibly be as painful as it was gonna get. Around 7pm the nurse came in and had me turn onto my left side to get a better read of Flash's heart rate. My contractions got progressively more intense and Josh rubbing my back started to not help as much. At about 7:45pm I told Josh to call the nurse and tell her I want an epidural. I have felt a lot of pain in my life and consider myself to have a very high pain tolerance but this was insane and I wasn't going to torture myself if I didn't have to. Two contractions later I was screaming my head off. Suddenly I felt a pop and my water broke. I screamed louder. About five minutes later the room was full of people. I was still screaming. The nurse and Josh talked me down and suddenly I had no choice but to push. My body took over and five minutes after that, at 8:25pm, Flash was born. It turned out that his cord was super short and it actually ripped because he came out so fast, but the doctor clamped it quick and he was fine. Josh got to trim it later. Flash weighed 7lbs. 12oz and was 20" long with a perfectly round head (again because he came out so fast) and sweet baby fuzz hair. It all happened so fast! I will be eternally grateful to the nurse who convinced me to stay and be monitored. I was totally prepared to go home and wait it out. I would have had him in the car on the way to the hospital!

Flash was calm from minute one. He laid peacefully on my chest and has been an easy going quiet little guy so far. He nurses like a champ! Our hospital stay was quick and easy. We went home the next evening. I seriously could not have asked for a better delivery. God gave me everything I wanted to experience. No medication, a fast healthy delivery, and a healthy baby boy. Recovery has been a million times easier without all the meds that come with induction. I feel great! Tired but oh so happy.

This first picture was taken while the room was filled with a massive amount of noise from my other two children. And yet, there he is, sleeping peacefully. I can't believe it! And the second picture, while not my most flattering, is still one of my favorites. Holding both my boys. I have TWO boys! Blows my mind.

"Look what I can do!" -God

God has the best sense of humor! Here I am. The woman who thought she'd never be able to experience pregnancy, who forced herself (and her poor husband) through years of fertility treatments to no avail...pregnant....AGAIN! This is a huge surprise. Although I guess it shouldn't be. We thought Evelyn and Little Dude were one time miracles. Little Dude for sure. This is now my third pregnancy. Apparently the fertility doctors were really wrong.

I noticed a few symptoms over a couple days but I was so sure it was something else. A cold...something. Then on October 13th (exactly one month after LD's first birthday) I couldn't get it out of my head that I should take a pregnancy test. After I put the kids down for their afternoon naps, I dug through the very back of the bathroom cabinets and finally found the other test from the box I bought last go-round. I double checked the expiration date and a few minutes later there were those two pink lines. Pretty sure I sat there, in my bathroom, in total shock for at least fifteen minutes just staring at the test. 

After the kids woke up I didn't have much time to dwell on the fact that I am pregnant. A fact I suspect will be a theme until I actually go into labor.. I did have enough time though to decide I wanted Squeaks to "tell" Josh. She's only two (three in January!!) so she doesn't really understand, but I thought it would be sweet, and maybe lighten the blow a bit for Josh. Ha!

Once Josh was home I waited for him to go to our bedroom and I pulled Squeaks aside. I handed her the positive pregnancy test, taped closed in case she decided to have a "hey-what's-this!?" moment, and told her to take it to daddy and yell "surprise!". She loves surprises so her face lit up and she immediately ran toward the bedroom. I had to run to keep up with her so I could see his face. I kind of wish I had filmed it. Priceless. He couldn't stop saying "you're joking, right?!" I had to tell him at least three times it was real. 

The shock dissipated ever so slightly and we both reassured the other that we were excited and happy, then immediately started discussing things like where he or she will sleep since we're out of bedrooms. We're probably going to have to get a new car. A third car seat just won't fit in our current car (that we bought when we were expecting LD. Ugh!). Then we both realized we will get to tell our families at Thanksgiving! On Evelyn's birthday!! I. Can. NOT. Wait!!! (Wrote this awhile ago. We told family yesterday! It was awesome. Post coming soon.)

While this is unexpected to say the least, it was by no means a mistake. Unplanned, for sure, but 100% meant to be. Every child is a gift from God! It totally blows me away that He is giving me another turn. Another blessing. Another life. I am so blessed!!

Over the next nine months, I would appreciate your prayers. Evelyn left uncertainty and fear burned into me, along with gratitude and love of course, but fear is winning right now. I don't want fear to win. I started my pregnancy with Little Dude determined to celebrate and enjoy every moment and this time will be no different. Pray for strength, wisdom, and peace. Let's do this!

Can't wait to meet our little tiebreaker!