2 Months and 29 Years

My 29th birthday lined up almost exactly with Squeaks' two month birthday this month. The fact that I am 29, one year left of my 20's, makes me think back to a very specific conversation I had with some friends I went to Gemology school with. I had just turned 20 and I had a plan. I remember asking a few class mates where they saw themselves in 10 years. I got responses like "own my own design company" and "living in New York". My response..."I'll have three kids before I'm 30." Naive presumption. I assumed I had control! Don't get me wrong, I understand planning for the future, being prepared, is a good thing, but after a certain point "all is vanity." (Ecclesiastes 1:2) 

Now that I'm 29 and Squeaks is home I laugh at my little "plan". Not because I regret that it did not happen, but because I am so much happier now than I think I would be if everything had gone the way I thought I wanted. I don't regret not having three kids. I regret how tightly I hung onto the idea of three kids. Being Squeaks' mom is better than anything I could have ever imagined. She's the best birthday present ever! I'm sure if we hadn't gone through the trials of these past few years I'd still love her tremendously, no question about it. But now, after what we've experienced, the blessing of having her home, being her mom, watching her grow, it's so indescribably wonderful...How much more do you enjoy happiness after knowing sadness? How much more do you appreciate a blessing when you've worked through a trial? How much brighter is the light when you've been in the dark for awhile? And bygolly God just turned on the floodlights!!