Mental Chaise Lounge

About seven years ago, a little over a month after Josh and I were married, I was in a severe car accident. I came very close to being paralyzed and was hospitalized for three weeks. While in the hospital my mother would email friends and family to keep them updated on my recovery. One of her emails has stuck with me over the years. Here's what she wrote on the day I left the hospital:
"The 7th floor Day Room at [the hospital] is a showcase for the contents of the mind and soul. Everyone is there because of a fearful and surprising event. They wait in the Day Room to hear news of their loved one. Some people don't even have a [mental] rusty lawn chair to rest on, and they are miserably uncomfortable. Other people are clearly at rest in a comfy, overstuffed chaise lounge, which they frequently offer to share with the emotionally homeless. I can see that it is very satisfying to scoot over, pat the cushion beside you, and invite a worn out soul to rest for a while.
Kristen is out of the hospital now. She spent 18 days among the furnishings she accumulated during the first 21 years of her life. Kris has a chaise lounge. I know because she occasionally patted an invitation to sit on it with her and it was very cozy." I love my mom. I love the way she thinks and how passionate she is. She's my best friend.

While I believe I had an adequate mental chaise lounge at the time, the "fabric" of my thought process was still underdeveloped and outdated to accommodate God's purpose for my life. The adoption process has been my "re-upholstery". 

While waiting for our child to come home, both Josh and I have been stretched and formed, being made to fit the framework God wants. While we both still need a lot of tucking and pulling, I think we're getting a pretty good taste of what God expects from us. Complete and total reliance on His plan. The furniture can't build itself!  

Adoption requires a lot of faith. We literally have no control. We can't control how quickly paperwork is processed, how quickly we are matched, or who will pick us. Once we're matched we can't control our expectant mom's  eating habits, daily activities, or her ultimate decision making processes (and we wouldn't try). As much as we want to, we can't control the amount of physical and emotional pain she will experience. We can only rely on God to stretch us and form us to His purpose. We can rely on Him to work through us for her. We can rely on Him to give her peace and us strength. My mental chaise lounge is quickly turning into a sectional sofa.

For you momma.